I fought the yeast and the yeast won.

It was just not in the cards for me to nurse my children. After a horrible experience with Lily, I decided that I was going to try again, but not put pressure on myself if it didn't work. Easier said than done.

The main problem with feeding Lily was that she would never latch. So we tried for a week (and I say we because it took both James and I to try to get her on). Because we didn't want her to get confused, we would feed her with a dropper, that's right a dropper. So every feeding (8 times a day) consisted of attempting to latch her for 30 minutes, then feeding her with a dropper, and then pumping. After a week of this, I came downstairs in tears, handed the baby and a bottle to James and decided I was done. I did continue to pump for two more weeks, but two cases of mastitis ended that too. It was a hard decision to make, but the right decision. I fought with Lily the whole first week of her life, and we both were so relieved to switch to bottles. Both of us were much happier.

After that experience, you would think it would have been easier this time to not put too much pressure on myself. Not so. Sarah Ellen was the opposite of Lily and latched on immediately. It was exciting and a huge relief for both James and I to see how good she was at it. Things continued to go well, except for the excruciating latch on pain. Sixteen times a day, I would grit my teeth, slam my feet on the floor, and say cuss words in front of my newborn as she latched on. Everyone said it would get better, so I hung in there. Then I started to get burning pains as well. I soon found out that this was caused by an invasion of yeast. Sarah Ellen had thrush which she passed on to me. Who knew that a little bit of yeast could be painful? Well it is. The problem with yeast is getting rid of it. The lactation consultant was adamant that I needed to take high powered medication to get rid of it or else we would continue to pass it back and forth to each other. The Internet also recommended this. The doctors, however, disagree with this new protocol and gave me the original amount of medication. Along with the meds, I had to boil everything used by Sarah Ellen everyday, wash laundry in hot water everyday, and keep everything scrubbed clean (in all my spare time). Despite meds, vinegar rinses, creams, taking acidophiles, eating yogurt, and taking garlic pills, I could not get rid of the stuff. So, the yeast won, and I gave up breast feeding. Once again, it was a horrible decision to make, but the right one for us. I can't explain the relief at giving her that first bottle. I also don't think that Sarah Ellen was getting enough to eat, because she was losing weight, but after 5 days on formula, she gained 11 ounces.

Society puts so much pressure on women today to breast feed. I sometimes think I should have tried harder, but then I remember that pain and know that I tried as hard as I could. Sarah Ellen is thriving and such a content and happy baby girl. I can also look at my oh so smart Lily Bean and know that they are going to be just fine on formula. This is one mama that is happy to bond with her baby with bottles. Not to mention, James can now do night feeds!!!!

"Mommy, I put my bloomers on by myself."

Lily is really turning into Miss Independent. She has to take her clothes off, get her diaper ready, and put on her pj's by herself. I know this is a good quality for her to develop, but sometimes it takes a little bit of patience to wait on her. One day, we were getting ready to go somewhere and Lily was upstairs and I was downstairs. I asked her to get a pair of bloomers out of her drawer and bring them down to put on. I went about packing things up (I forgot how much you have to pack with a newborn), and heard Lily upstairs saying, "Mommy, I put my bloomers on by myself." She was so proud. When she came down, I noticed she didn't have her bloomers on, but I decided not to say anything, because we were ready to go. We then ran our errands and came home. When James went to change Lily's diapers, he discovered that she did indeed put on her bloomers by herself.

Random Pictures

I'm not feeling very creative today, and I have a lot of random pictures that I want to post, so I'm just going to throw them all together in this one post.

Mimi's first time holding Sarah Ellen. I still can't believe that she waited until the next day to hold her.

Papa holding Sarah Ellen on his birthday. Happy Birthday Papa!

Derek and Sarah Ellen
Lisa and Sarah Ellen
Lily entertaining Hope and Blake for us.
Austin and Sarah Ellen
Adam and Sarah Ellen

Sarah Ellen's first bath. She wasn't too happy about the whole thing. Hopefully they will be more fun for her if her cord ever falls off.

Maggie and Sarah Ellen
Gabby and Sarah Ellen
Lee and Sarah Ellen
Monica and Sarah Ellen

Margaret Anne peeping in on Sarah Ellen.

Bringing Baby Home

Sarah Ellen comes home.

Wow, seeing both girls in the back seat makes things so much more real. We are a family.



As we left the hospital, we had to stop for a photo with some friends. Will works with James, and they had their baby just hours after we did. They had a baby boy named Hunter.

Sisters

I always knew it would be a great moment in my life when our two sweet girls met each other for the first time, but I had no idea how great. Lily truly lit up and was genuinely excited to meet her baby sister. We tried to prepare Lily as best we could about the arrival of Sarah Ellen. We talked about rocking the baby, changing the baby diapers, loving the baby, and holding the baby. She seemed excited, but I still didn't know how she would react when she was really here. Lily has shown nothing but love for her baby sister. She loves to rub her head, help me burp her, and check on her when she's sleeping. Lily hasn't shown an ounce of jealousy. I'm sure some will come, but I am enjoying these sweet days.

And so it begins...

On Wednesday, June 11th I headed off to my weekly MD visit with my bags packed. I had a hunch - could have something to do with the gazillion contractions I had the night before. When I got there, I was only three cms dilated. Nothing too major, considering I walked around at 3 cms with Lily for weeks. The doctor decided to check my fluid levels and they were a little low, so she decided it was time for baby girl to come and sent me straight to the hospital. I have to admit I didn't really head straight there. It was lunch time. I know from too much experience that once you are admitted into the hospital, they won't let you eat. So I made a little detour to McDonald's for some last minute french fries. It's rather odd standing in line at McDonald's knowing you are getting ready to go through labor.



I waited for James in the parking lot of the hospital while I munched on my yummy fries, trying to block out what was to come. We took our last shot of baby girl in my tummy before heading in.



For fun I found the shot of me before having Lily (on the right). Yep, looks like girl number two is much bigger (as well as Mommy number two).







Here we are anxiously waiting. I think I had already had my epidural in this shot. This was the part I was dreading the most. I had a bad experience the first time, but I must say that this went much better. My contractions had started to kick in pretty strong too, so I was glad to have the relief. We were greeted by Karen, the same nurse who helped deliver Lily. I was so excited to have her again.


Kami was the first to make it down, soon followed by my parents. Donna was already with Lily for my MD visit, so she managed to stay with Lily through nap time, then dropped her off at Cekine's house. Donna arrived right as I was beginning to push. Lily went to church with Cekine, Allan, MA, and Abigail that night. Thank you guys for taking such good care of my girl and allowing our family to be with us.


As we were all chatting, I started to feel a little funny. I asked James to get the nurse and sure enough, baby was ready - very ready. Everyone cleared out and four pushes later, our sweet girl was with us. This little girl came out screaming!



I was very fortunate to have one of my dear friends, Charlene, be the baby's nurse. She is in charge of the nursery at St. Francis - talk about inside connection.


So all that worry about having a small baby and she came out weighing 7 pounds, 3 ounces. The first thing the doctor said was, "she's not small." Then, "she has a dimple." Where did that come from?


One of the best gifts I've ever received was being asked to be with my sister during the birth of her second son. I wanted to return this gift back Kami. She helped James coach me along, and I was very glad to have her with me.


Family watching as they clean up Sarah Ellen (she still didn't have a name at this point).


After giving birth I had a very special visitor. Mary Ashley, Charlene's daughter, came to check on me and our new baby.


First bath.


Doncie with Sarah Ellen. My parents and sister had already left to go pick up Lily and get her to bed. Can you believe, my mom left before holding the baby? For those of you that know her, that is so not Betsy. Thank you Mom for taking care of the Bean.

Poppy and Sarah Ellen

Aunt Nette and Sarah Ellen

Aunt Nette, Snookie and Sarah Ellen

Daddy and his sweet baby girl. James is still smiling in this picture because he has yet to spend the night on the 5 foot window seat they call a bed.


This concludes our first day with our sweet little girl. It took us the whole night to figure out her name, but once we did, we knew it was right for her. I'm afraid we have cursed her with a double name, but she can always shorten it one day if she wants.

My heart grew this afternoon. I wasn't sure how I could love another baby as much as Lily, but as everyone said, my heart just grew. This perfect little being is a true gift from God, and I will do my best to raise her according to His will.

She's here!

Sarah Ellen was born on June 11 at 5:16 PM, weighing in at 7.3 lbs and 19.5 inches. Mother and baby are doing great and Lily is a proud big sister. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

More to follow.....

Just The Three Of Us - One Last Weekend

We have really enjoyed getting out and about this past week, maybe a little too much. We have done more than our fair share of eating out. Thursday night we met our friends Rob and Pam out for dinner at Jim and Nicks downtown. We had a great time except for the fact that the AC was broken. I tried hard not to act as miserable as I felt. I do think that when the hostess saw a nine month pregnant women come in, she should have informed us of this technicality. Anyway, we ate a little quicker than normal then headed over to Southend to see our friends Gregg and Cole play. Gregg is a super talented guy who works with James. He and Cole began playing together at Clemson and now play around Charleston some. Gregg sang in our wedding. I hate I didn't get a picture of them. Lily enjoyed the music as well. (Yes we took her with us. I'm still savoring my time with her. ) At first, she just sat with Pam and watched, but gradually became more comfortable. Before long, she was dancing around and cheering excitedly after each song. I was amazed at how much she took to Pam. She sat with her a long time and let Pam carry her everywhere. So basically, James and I had a free night while Pam and Rob played with Lily. We told them we were going out to eat with them all the time.
Lily and Pam


Lily coloring with Jack and Liam Their daddy's work with James also.

Friday we ran some errands and ate at Outback (again). I love me some cheese fries.

Saturday led to more nesting. We took both the cars in to be serviced, then came home to do more organizing. I pulled out the baby toys, washed them, then put them away in the playroom. The playroom is now organized with toys placed in labeled bins. Let's see how long that lasts. We went to the grocery store and cooked a great dinner.

Today we started out at church and are now enjoying a quiet afternoon together. We are having a great family weekend. It is a little daunting to realize that this is our last weekend just the three of us. The current plan is, if I don't have the baby this week, I will be induced next Saturday. Yikes. It is crazy to think that this little girl will be with us some time this week. It's also crazy to think that I may have to be induced - go figure.

Lily enjoying her sand/water table while Daddy gives Miller a bath. I had to come back inside - it is way too hot!


Stay tuned for future announcements......