Surely Not Our Lily

The terrible twos are upon us. It started Wednesday morning (remember my puny girl that wanted to be carried around the aquarium). The day started out with her being puny, then progressed to her being downright mean. She basically yelled at me all afternoon. If I said black, she would yell white. If I relented that it was white, she would yell black. She went into timeout three times within 30 minutes. James was working late, and thank goodness, the Clums had us over for dinner or I might have gone crazy.

Things just got worse on Thursday. She yelled at me again all morning. I regrouped during nap time and was determined that I could be the better person and very patiently handle Lily's tirades. That lasted about 10 minutes. She wanted to be carried down the stairs. Once I did, she started screaming that she wanted to do it herself. Do you think someone likes control (wonder who she gets that from)? I finally got her in the car and headed out to Mommy and Me (Sarah Ellen's first). She was fairly quiet until I turned onto Camp road. She started screaming for me to go the other way. This continued until we reached Cameron's house. Then, I apparently got her out of the car the wrong way and she screamed about that too. So, I grab the car seat in one arm and Lily under the other arm. We walk into playgroup with Lily screaming at the top of her lungs. I plop her down on a chair. She jumps up, runs to the door, screams to go back to the car and do it her way. She then grabs the diaper bag and begins throwing it on the floor. The other moms were a little shocked to see Miss Lily in such form. Finally, I take her into a bedroom and tell her to calm down. She lay on the bed for 15 minutes sucking her thumb. After that, she was a happy girl.....until bedtime.

James and I had our toughest discipline experience with Lily on Thursday night. After bath, things quickly went down hill. She screamed about how she walked out of the bathroom, where her diaper was to be put on, doing her pj's by herself, and basically everything. We attempted timeout. She continued to scream. She even told us to leave and shut the door. Yes, she was telling us how to do timeout. She's controlling her punishments. Finally, we brought out the big guns. We told her if she didn't calm down, we would put her straight to bed without reading books. After several opportunities, Lily couldn't get it together, so we did it - we put her in bed without reading books. When she realized we were serious, she let out blood curdling screams. We left. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To leave my baby in there screaming for Mommy and Daddy was horrible. Yes, I know she brought it on herself, and yes I know she will be a better person because of it, but it was just awful. She cried for about 30 minutes and then fell asleep. You would think it would be our newborn crying it out, not our toddler. The next morning, she was a happy girl and didn't seem to hold it against us.

She continued to be challenging on Friday, but we were able to read books. She got it together just in time, and I don't think I could have handled doing it again. Tonight we had a small victory. I've been at a loss as to how to discipline her. Timeout does not work. Forcefully telling her (okay yelling at her) does not work. Taking away books does not work. So, tonight I got creative and thought about positive reinforcement. I drew four squares on a piece of paper and got some stickers. Each square represented a part of bedtime routine: diaper, pj's, brushing teeth, and reading books. If she completed each one without fussing, she got a sticker. It worked!!! She did the whole process without getting upset (and this is after missing her nap today). She couldn't wait to get her next sticker. Score one for Mommy and Daddy.

I have to give Lily some credit here. I made her sound like a little tyrant. She does have two top molars coming in, and just a wee bit of change is going on around here. This does not excuse her behavior, but she does have a lot going on at one time. She continues to make us laugh all the time and amaze us with the things that come out of her mouth. She is wonderful with Sarah Ellen, gently rubbing her head, giving her hugs, and even sharing lovey. These qualities that are now challenging us, independence and strength of will, will carry her far in life. We just have to channel them as best we can.