Bed Rest Sucks

Well, Miss Little Optimistic and Positive is gone. For all of you that were so proud of me for my positive attitude and upbeat nature about bed rest, well that was day 1 and this is day 4. Bed rest sucks! Don't get me wrong, I still know its only for a short time, and Lily won't have any long term repercussions, and I am very blessed to have made is 30 weeks not on bed rest, BUT just let me vent a little bit.


Would you ever think that laying down would make you sore. I get a sharp stabbing pain in my hips when I move them a certain way. I feel like my rib cage is permanently compressed, and oh what I would do for one deep breath. Not only do I have to lay down, I have to be on my side. I obviously can't lay on my belly, and if I'm on my back I can't breathe. You know how at the end of a day, you look forward to stretching out in your comfy bed. Well, that's not the case anymore. I wish I could sleep standing up.


Would you ever think you would want to change your child's diaper yourself, unload your own dish washer, or do your own laundry? I am extremely grateful for all of the help, but I sure wish I could do it myself. It helps to put things in perspective, and I'm going to try to remember this in the future when I am complaining about having too much to do. You all hold me to that. I even find myself looking forward to sleep deprived nights with a newborn because I will be independent again.


The hardest part of all is not being able to take care of Lily. She is having a mini revolt against me at the moment. Yesterday, she wanted nothing to do with me, even screaming at times when she was near me. Last night, she yelled at me to go downstairs (I was laying on a mattress we put in the playroom) and then swatted at me. Once I started crying, she did come and hug me to "make Mommy feel better." I explained to her that she hurt Mommy's feelings and that wasn't nice, but that she made it all better with the hug. So then she continues to say the rest of the evening, "I hurt Mommy's feelings." Talk about rip your heart out. It made me wonder if I did the right thing, but I do think she needs to know that her behavior made me sad. I think that it did help, and this morning she was loving me again. I know that this is just her way of coping with all of the change and that she will always love her mama, but it sure did make for a crappy day yesterday.

Well, thanks for hearing me out, and don't get worried, I really am hanging in there. I wish I could stay positive all the time, but I am praying to the Lord for guidance and patience. I am truly blessed to be pregnant with a healthy baby girl that I feel confident I can carry full term as I did with Lily. We are also so blessed to have all of the love and support that we have. Donna and Snookie (James' mother and grandfather) have been here all week taking care of Lily, me, the house, and all the meals. They have also signed on for next week too. The following week, my parents will be taking a shift. We are truly fortunate to have our family and friends help. Although, Lily is not taken care of by me right now, it lightens my heart to know she is so well taken care of by those that love her.